


Anopisthography

by vakarianns



Category: Mass Effect, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Kaidan is a Cop AU, Shepard is a Grad Student AU, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-19
Updated: 2015-01-19
Packaged: 2018-03-08 05:04:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3196352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vakarianns/pseuds/vakarianns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Modern day AU in which Shepard is a slightly awkward grad student, Kaidan is a young police officer, and there is what some would call a disastrous first meeting.</p><p>Rated for Language. Cross-posted from Tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anopisthography

She was late. She was late, and the rent was due today. Of all the days that Anderson could have asked her to stay after class, he had to choose today. Now she only had fifteen minutes to race home so she could pay her half of the rent. She really couldn’t afford to make another late payment, not when she had just gotten a new roommate. She didn’t need Ash bailing on her; she wouldn’t be able to afford the place if she didn’t have at least one other person living there.

“Shit!” Shepard slammed both feet on the brakes as the light turned red. It had been yellow for a ridiculously small amount of time. “What the hell kind of warning is that?” She rolled her eyes and slipped into a mocking tone,” ‘Turning red in .3 seconds, hope you’re driving like a grandma, not going the fucking speed limit like a normal person.’” Shepard tapped her fingers along the steering wheel impatiently, eyes flitting from the infuriating traffic light to her junker’s dashboard clock.

The light stayed red even as the other road cleared of cars, and Shepard’s foot twitched. She wasn’t stupid enough to run the light, but she had the urge to nonetheless. If the light didn’t turn in the next thirty seconds, she’d hit the next three red lights and then there would be no hope of her paying her rent on time.

The light turned green, and Shepard hit the gas a little harder than she meant to. Her car lurched forward with the finesse of an elephant ballerina. _Damn Mako, if I wanted to drive a tank I’d drive a fucking tank._ The car eventually made it to a cruising speed, and Shepard urged it a little faster than technically legal. She absolutely had to make the next light, or she’d pay for it with her credit score.

Shepard had never been the best of drivers, and the area she was driving in was notorious for parking lot exits with low visibility. So when she let her eyes leave the road to glance down at her car’s clock for the fifteenth time, she missed the car pulling out of the nearby shopping center’s parking lot. When she looked up, she had just enough time to notice that they were pulled out just a bit too far, and she was moving just a bit too fast, and there was someone in the lane next to her to block her from swerving. She slammed on the brakes, but she knew that she wouldn’t be able to stop in time. She relaxed her body, and waited for the incoming crash.

It was a bit gentler than she had expected. The front corner of her car just grazed the other car’s front bumper, and there was only a little jolting. The loudest sound wasn’t the crunch of metal, but the squealing of the Mako’s old brakes. The worst jolt came from the curb check the Mako did as it skittered to the right. The car stumbled into a stop, and Shepard let out a breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding. It took her only a moment to realize that she was fine, grab her phone from the passenger seat, and leap out of the car. The impact hadn’t been that bad, but she still felt a slight panic at the thought of the other driver. What if they were older, and they had been pulled out that far so they could see? What if they were younger and inexperienced? Oh god, what if there were kids in the car?

She made it about four steps before freezing.

No. No, no, no. She turned her head, scanning the scene. This was wrong. It had to be wrong. There was no way she hit that car. No, she hit another car. A car that was painted only one color and in no way had any lights affixed to the top. A car that did not have a man in uniform exiting the driver’s seat.

Shepard walked forward slowly, willing her face to be calmer than her mind. She had hit a cop. A cop who could quite possibly arrest her and get her sent to prison for attempted manslaughter or vandalism or something equally illegal.

Shepard said nothing as she approached the man. He took off his hat, one of the little police ones that Shepard had only seen on TV, and she could see that he was young. He couldn’t be much older than her, maybe a year or two. And he was cute. Like, stepped straight out of a GQ magazine cute. His dark hair looked like it had been gelled back this morning, but was now rebelling, strands sticking up haphazardly. He ran a hand through it, and Shepard could see the muscles in his arm flex through his uniform. A uniform that was filled out quite nicely, she noticed, as he stood in front of her and turned. The angle gave her a good view of his rather superb backside. _Wow._

Oh god, she was checking out the cop who she had just almost killed with her car. What was wrong with her?

Shepard drew her eyes away from the officer’s assets, face heated from her inappropriate ogling. Could he tell she had checked him out? Would that make him more forgiving, or more likely to haul her away? Should she flirt with him? She knew some girls got out of speeding tickets by flirting with cops, but getting away with a car accident seemed a little out of the reach of what a low-cut top and batting eyelashes could do. Besides, she was wearing a cardigan. And a scarf.

She stood there for a few moments in silence, waiting for him to say something, anything. She would rather him start saying the Miranda rights than remain silent, staring at the dented front bumper of the police car.

“Guess the squad will have to wait for their coffee.”

Holy shit, did he just make a joke? Shepard almost mentioned that her landlord would have to wait for the rent, but thought that giving a reason for her to be hurrying would only incriminate her. Instead, she just weakly laughed. This made the man turned to face her, and Shepard winced. Is there a jail sentence for laughing in the presence of a cop?

“Are you hurt, ma’am?”

Ma’am? She didn’t look like a ma’am, did she? She was a bit frazzled looking today, yes, but she didn’t look ma’am-y. Maybe he was just very polite. It took Shepard a moment to realize there had been a question attached to the questionable identifier.

“Oh, yes, sir, I’m fine. Are you? Fine, I mean.” What the fuck is wrong with me. I see a cute guy in uniform and suddenly all grasp of the English language has escaped me.

He quirked an eyebrow at her, and Shepard realized he’d asked if she was hurt, and she’d said yes. That, and she took a long time to answer. He must think she had a concussion. Or that she was drunk. He wasn’t going to make her walk a straight line, was he? That would be so embarrassing; it wasn’t even five o’clock yet.

The officer nodded, but didn’t say anything for a moment, turning back to his car. He looked past it to the Mako, one wheel still on the curb, as if protesting the need to stay on the road. Shepard waited, not sure if she should apologize or remain silent.

“I’m going to be honest, ma’am, I only graduated from the academy two weeks ago, I don’t know the protocol for something like this. I need to call my partner, but when there’s a car accident, we’re not supposed to let the drivers get back into their cars, and my phone is in the car, and it only works when the car’s on-“

“I have my phone with me; you can use it.” Shepard offered up immediately, her phone still clutched in her hand. The officer took it sheepishly.

“Thank you, ma’am.”

“Shepard.” She corrected, she didn’t want to be ma’am. It made her sound old. Not that is mattered, how old he thought she was, it might actually help her case to appear older, but she didn’t like the sound of ma’am.

He did a double take. A literal, look at you twice, double take. “Your name is Shepard?”

“Well, technically, it’s Kateryna. But if I said that, I’d also have to say ‘Not Kate’, and then you’d be stuck saying four syllables, when you could just say two. Shepard’s easier.” And now she was rambling. Perfect. Now he probably thought she was concussive, drunk, and stupid. She was definitely going to jail.

He didn’t say anything, but there was the tiniest hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth. He looked down at her phone, then back at her. “I’ll call my partner. Don’t go anywhere, ‘Not Kate’.” He turned away from her, walking a few steps away for some semblance of privacy.

Why would she leave when he had her phone? Well, if she really didn’t want to get in trouble, she could leave, but that phone had all of her personal information on it. He’d just show up at her apartment in an hour with his partner, and then she’d really be in trouble. 

She didn’t listen in on purpose, but she caught some of the conversation. She already knew what he was going to say, ‘some idiot girl hit me with her piece of shit car, bring extra tight handcuffs', but she just wanted to make sure they didn't also call her mother or something. That would count as cruel and unusual punishment.

“Vakarian? It’s Alenko. Yeah, I know, this isn’t my phone. Yeah, I know I’m late. Just tell Joker to calm down, he’ll get his coffee eventually. Yeah, that’s what I was calling to tell you. I need you to come out to 4th and Lex, there’s been an accident.”

He went silent for a moment, a blush climbing up to his cheeks. Oh, now that was just unfair. She almost wanted him to put her in handcuffs and push her into the back of his car now.

“Uh, no. No injuries, all parties are fine. Minor cosmetic damages to both vehicles, nothing serious. Yeah, uh, a grey ’94 Hyundai Excel, and…uh…”

He paused, hand going up to the back of his neck. Shepard wanted to grab the phone from him, explain to his partner that she was the one at fault, not this young, cute, blushy officer. She didn’t want him to get in trouble for her stupid mistake. She didn’t care about the rent anymore, she’d take a ruined credit score and a pissed off roommate if it meant this cop didn’t get in trouble.

“Yeah, yeah the squad car. Look, Vakarian, it’s really not that bad. Just, could you get down here pretty quick? I-“ Slight pause, and his mouth fell open. “What the hell do you mean, rite of passage?" Another pause, and his face reddening, "It’s not funny, Vakarian! Just get your ass down here, okay?”

He hung up, scowling, and Shepard thought she heard him whisper “dick” Before he turned. When he saw her, his blush grew even brighter, spreading to his neck.

“Sorry you had to hear that.” He said as he handed her back her phone.

She took it back with a smile. He had cursed in front of her. Whether he meant to or not, it helped her not feel so intimidated, and she was grateful. “Your partner sounds like one, no offense. It’s not your fault someone hit your car.” 

“No, I was pulled out too far. I always have trouble getting out of those shopping centers, the squad car’s front end is the size of a mammoth, you can’t see anything.” He returned the smile, and it made his eyes light up like god damned stars.

“The Mako travels like a mammoth, all its weight is in the back end, so it’s hard to get going, hard to turn, and most of all, hard to stop.” Shepard admitted, although she was sure he already knew the last fact.

“So it’s ‘Shepard’, and ‘The Mako’, huh? You must have a thing for unusual names.” The officer asked, leaning against the hood of his squad car. Was he chatting with her? Shepard was sure she’d seen a nature show where some kind of predatory animal lulled its prey into a false sense of security with its good looks and easy conversation. If not, then she needed to call National Geographic herself. 

She shrugged in return, simply accepting her fate as easy prey and leaning against the nearby street lamp. “Maybe. Is there something wrong with liking originality?”

The officer chuckled, a low, deep rumbling sound that nearly sent a shiver down Shepard’s spine. The good kind. Or the really bad kind, if her ‘predatory animal lulling the prey’ theory was valid. “I suppose I have nothing to say, with a name like Kaidan.”

“That’s a cute name.” Shepard said, before she could think about it.

“Really? I tend to go by Alenko. You might not be the best judge of names, Not Kate.” He smirked, his eyes sparkling with mirth."You really should go by Kateryna," His eyes looked her up and down, "It suits you better."

Shit. Was he flirting with her? No, he couldn’t be. She was just really single, and he was really cute. But the way her name- her full first name- had just rolled off of his tongue, all smooth and low...Damn.

She needed to say something to turn the tides, get him to stop looking at her for a moment, give her time to try and get rid of the rather impressive blush she was sure was staining her cheeks. She needed to, but she couldn’t think of anything to say that wasn’t ‘You’re very cute and you make me very nervous’.

Her phone saved her.

It rang, the loud, blaring sound of her alarm going off. 5 o’clock. And now she’d get-

Her phone rang again, a loud, slightly obnoxious boy band tune playing. Ash.

She looked to Kaidan-Officer Alenko-no, shit, calling him officer was somehow worse than calling him by his first name. It seemed even more inappropriate, because the first mental image that came with the title was of his ass, tightly clad in uniform pants.

“That’s my roommate. Rent is due today, and I have my half of the payment, she’s probably-“ She paused, the phone still ringing, “Can I use my one phone call?”

He laughed, nodding, and she answered the phone, turning and walking a few steps away. She needed the semblance of privacy; she really didn’t want him to hear her beg her roommate not to bail on her because she was late on the rent again.

“Shepard, where are you? And don’t say ‘the bank’, or I swear I’ll fling myself down the hazard stairs.”

Shepard sighed, “Listen, Ash, I’m sorry. I have the rent money; I just got delayed on my way there. There was a car accident; I’m just waiting on a cop to get here.”

“Oh shit, are you hurt?” Ash’s voice sounded repentant, like she regretted threatening to commit suicide via the rickety, peeling-carpet stairs in their apartment building.

“No, Ash, just formalities, you know. I might need you to bail me out of jail later though,” Shepard said, simultaneously glad for the break from the rent conversation, and sheepish for having to ask Ash to hypothetically bail her out of prison when she had work that night.

“Late on the rent and needing bail. Man, my mom will be so proud of my choice of roommate.”

“Shut up, Ash, I’m serious. I kind of…hit a cop.”

“You what?!” Shepard heard something crash in the background, and hoped Ash hadn’t been holding something breakable. She waited until Ash’s muttered curses faded before beginning her tale.

“With the Mako. You know that string of lights on 4th you have to time just perfectly or you’re stuck for half an hour? Yeah, I got stuck at the first one and was trying to make the second, and he was pulling out of the Shopping center, the one with that coffee shop we like, the one run by that Pakistani girl, and-”

“The Zorah chick?”

“Yeah, and he was pulling out, and this asshole was blocking me on the left, so I couldn’t get over, and I clipped his front bumper. He’s fine, but I have no idea if that’s like, assaulting an officer by default or something.”

“Does he think you’re cute?”

Shepard made an unbecoming choking noise, and looked at Kaidan without thinking about it. She met his eyes, and could feel the blush she’d been trying to force away creeping back. “God, Ash, I don’t know? That wasn’t really on my mind.”

“He probably does, you're pretty hot, Shep. You know, you could always flirt with him, try to get on his good side.” Ash said, and Shepard couldn’t find anything to say. The silence was deafening for a moment. It was damning. Shepard could hear Ash’s smirk through the phone. “Shepard, have you already flirted with him?”

“No!” Her indignant reply came way too quickly, and was way too defensive.

Ash laughed on the other line, and Shepard could imagine her face, unbelieving but not surprised. “Oh man, either he’s really cute, or you’re in deep shit. Is he cute?”

Shepard had the sinking feeling that Kaidan could hear Ash on the other end, and that he knew exactly what they were talking about... Maybe she’d accidentally put it on speaker. Maybe he had a fancy police gadget that let him listen to cell conversations. Maybe he could read minds. That thought had her panicked. She had to bail, now, before Ash got her so defensive she blurted out something she shouldn’t. “Ash. I have to go-“

“I’m betting cute. Yeah, definitely. Deep shit gets you steaming mad, cute guys get you all quiet and evasive.”

“Ash-“ Shepard interrupted. She really couldn’t listen to anymore of Ash Sherlock Holmes-ing away her psyche.

“Okay, okay, get back to flirting with your cute cop, I’ll try and stall Wrex until you get here. Just don’t dawdle, get his number and leave. Try and snap a picture, too, I want to see-“

Ash was still saying something about how young cops are usually fit when Shepard hung up. She sighed and took a few deep breaths before turning back to Kaidan, who, thankfully, was chatting with an older woman who was trying to exit the shopping center. She was woefully oblivious to the fact that there had been an accident, as she was asking Kaidan to move his car.

“Officer, I need to go pick up my grandson, Jimmy, from his school. He’ll be waiting for me.”

“I understand, ma’am. There’s been an accident, and this exit to the shopping center is closed at the moment. I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but I have to ask you to use the exit on the other side of the center, onto Lexington instead of 4th,” He said, with the forced politeness of a man who has repeated himself at least three times already.

The woman grumbled a bit, continuing to talk about her Jimmy, and how she would be late picking him up, but she put her car into reverse, and Kaidan sent her away with a smile, a wave, and a ‘Thank you, ma’am’.

“How are you so polite?” Shepard asked after the car was out of sight.  
Kaidan smiled weakly. “IRaised that way. Canadian.”

“Really? So am I." Shepard said, only half a lie. Technically, she was from all over. But she had been born in Montreal, and lived there until she was six. It was as much a hometown as any.

Kaidan smiled, his head tilting to the side like a puppy. There is no way he is a cop, his very existence should be illegal.

“Quebec?”

That startled her. Maybe he really could read minds. “How’d you know?”

“You’ve got a bit of an accent, “ Kaidan replied. “And not a Vancouver one.”

“Vancouver, huh? How’d you end up here?” Shepard asked, not sure why a good Canadian boy would move to Chicago. Surely he could have become a police officer in Vancouver. She had the sudden vision of Kaidan in a mountie’s uniform, and almost choked on her own tongue.

“College, at first. UChicago. Then the Police Academy here in the city. I got a dual-citizenship because it was easier than going back to Vancouver and starting over. I had friends and colleagues here already.” He shrugged, and his answer was easy and casual, but Shepard felt that it wasn’t a full answer.  
“I go to UChicago now,” She said, “Grad school.”  
He hummed. “Weird, I only graduated two years ago, if you’re a Grad student, we must have been undergrads together. I don’t remember you though.”

“Well, it’s a big school. You probably wouldn’t recognize me, even if we had met. I was a completely different person as an undergrad.” She didn’t want to say that she had been a wildly irresponsible party girl. She’d almost rather he think her a ma’am-y spinster than a persistently drunk, flirtatious co-ed.

“I don’t think I could forget you.” He said, and the way his jaw clenched shut after he said it made her think it was accidental. “I mean, you make quite an impression-“

“Oh, yes, because hitting people with my car-“ She was teasing him now, and it wasn’t kind, but if she didn’t, she’d probably do something stupid. Like blush. Or tell him what impression he made on her. Or kiss him.

“No, that’s not-I just meant that you’re very-“ He was stammering now, a fiery blush making yet another appearance, and this time because of her. Shepard quirked an eyebrow at him. It was absolutely cruel the way she thrilled at seeing him squirm.

He cleared his throat. “Please forget I said that, ma’am.”

Shepard shot him a glare, but she could tell her eyes were too bright for him to think she was really mad. “I will if you promise to stop calling me ma’am, sir.”

“Sure thing, Kateryna.” He was smiling again, the asshole. Not two seconds ago, she had had him blushing and stammering, and now he was back to teasing her and grinning.

“Shepard.”

“Ma’am.”

“Kaidan.”

They stood there, glaring at each other. Maybe she shouldn’t have used his first name. He didn’t seem too angry; there was a slight challenge in his stare, but his brown eyes were still soft. She realized that she was having to crane up to meet his gaze. When had he gotten so close to her? She continued staring at him, determined not to let him win the informal contest, but she could feel her cheeks flush for what must have been the tenth time since she hit his car.

At least, until she heard a siren. One whoop behind her, and a flash of lights reflecting on the little badge on Kaidan’s chest that read ‘Alenko’. She kept staring. He didn’t. Kaidan’s eyes darted up, and he leaped backwards, as if he were a little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Shepard smiled.

“Vakarian!” Kaidan’s voice had the faintest wobble, only adding to the ‘young boy’ persona.

“Alenko.” The other cop’s voice was deeper, and Shepard turned quickly, her pulse suddenly skyrocketing. Somehow, while she was mooning over Kaidan, she had forgotten that there was a very real possibility of her going to prison.

Vakarian was older than Alenko, but not by much. Maybe early-thirties. He was taller, too. He was a bit more grizzled, a bit more what you’d expect from a cop. The most unnerving thing about him was a grouping of scars along the right side of his face, the largest cutting into his upper lip. It looked like he had taken a bazooka to the face.  
“Are you the other driver?” Vakarian asked, walking towards Shepard and extending his hand.

“Yes, sir.” Shepard said, shaking his hand.

“Don’t worry, we’re not going to haul you off. Not as long as you’re sober and have got a valid license.” Vakarian smiled, and Shepard felt a bit more at ease. He seemed like a nice guy, not the hardass she was expecting from the scar.

“I just need to take both of your statements, and then you can head on your way, Miss?”

“Shepard. Kateryna Shepard.”

Vakarian looked at her for a moment, eyes narrowing slightly. Shepard hoped he didn't mention the last name. He didn't,only shaking his head and taking out a notepad. “Where’s your car now?” He asked, and Shepard pointed to the Mako, still half on the curb.  
“That’ll do for now, it’s out of traffic. Alenko, move the squad car over to that empty section of the parking lot.” Kaidan glanced at him, almost like he was questioning the order, and Vakarian smirked, “ It’s okay to move it, Alenko. It’s barely scratched, and there’s no debris on the ground.”

Kaidan nodded then, glancing over at Shepard before climbing into the squad car. Vakarian chuckled. “He’s still got that old handbook they use at the Academy memorized. That thing’s so out of date and impractical, It’s illegal to follow half of those protocols, but he’ll learn quick enough. He’s a good kid.”

Vakarian motioned towards the little coffeeshop at the corner of the shopping center. “Let’s go in there, Ms. Shepard. It’ll be more comfortable than staying out here.”

“Is it alright if you just call me Shepard? Ms. Sounds too much like my mother.” Shepard asked, wanting to gauge his reaction.  
“I thought you’d say that.” Vakarian said with a smile, and they headed into the coffee shop.

~

An hour later, she was back in her car with a statement for her insurance company. Vakarian had ruled it a ‘mutual fault accident’, once Shepard mentioned that she may have been driving a little faster than strictly legal. He didn’t write her a speeding ticket, amazingly. Shepard figured that he somehow knew she was trying to protect Kaidan from getting into too much trouble.

So all she had to do was get her insurance company to inspect the car, and maybe they would pay for a new paint job. Which was so ridiculous, she hardly wanted to even file a claim. Her car had a dent in the front bumper, but it wasn’t like it didn’t have other bumps and scratches. The car was twenty years old, it was amazing it still ran. 

Giving the statement was a lot easier than Shepard expected. Vakarian just asked to hear her story, and he didn’t accuse her of anything. She showed him her license, her registration, and her insurance, and she took a breathalyzer. Kaidan had seemed embarrassed that she had to do it, and Vakarian was surprisingly apologetic. “It’s a bureaucratic thing. Alenko’ll have to take one too.”

She may have had inappropriate thought or two as Kaidan took the test. The man had a nice mouth.

Now, she was waiting for them to leave before she did. It was mostly because she didn’t want them to need her for anything else, and partially because Kaidan was leaning against the squad car, giving her the perfect chance to stare at his backside one more time. She was safe in her car, sunglasses on, he would never know. She had her phone out, pretending to read texts. It was shallow, but it wasn’t every day you saw a man as cute as Kaidan out in the wild. Or one as polite. Or funny. Or humble.

She didn’t trust herself not to ‘accidentally’ crash into more cop cars, just in case he was driving.

Shepard’s phone went off, a text, and it was Ash. Shit. She opened it to find a question, ‘Where are you?’, followed by a lewd suggested answer, ‘Did you do more than flirt with the cute cop?’

She heard a knock onw her window, followed by a muffled, “Hey, Shepard?”

She almost dropped her phone. As it was, she hit the ‘close’ button harder than was wise and threw it into the passenger seat before looking up.

It was Kaidan, standing at her window, fidgeting. She quickly rolled down her window and took off her sunglasses. Was he going to call her out on staring at him? There was no way he could have known, not while she had been wearing her dark frames.

“Kaidan.” His name wasn’t a question, but there was the slightest hint of one hidden in her tone.

He wouldn’t look at her. His eyes were glued to his hands, where a piece of paper fluttered softly in the wind. She thought she had gotten off easy. But why couldn’t Vakarian have served her the ticket? Why would he make Kaidan do it?

“Here.” He handed her the piece of paper, and she took it from him gently. She wished he would look up, so he could see she wasn’t angry at him. He didn’t look up, though, not until she looked down at the paper. She saw his head move out of the corner of her eye.

It wasn’t a ticket.

It was written on ticket paper, but it wasn’t a ticket.

“To Whom it May Concern:

Please excuse Miss Shepard’s tardiness in paying her rent this month. At 4:48 p.m. on Friday, October 23rd, there was an motor vehicle accident on 4th and Lexington. Miss Shepard had been on her way to deliver her rent payment, but stayed on the scene of the accident to assist an officer on the scene. She was instrumental in the police investigation. The Chicago Police Department will pay any late fee Miss Shepard may have incurred.  
If you have any questions, do not hesitate to phone the station at 555-8643

Officer Kaidan Alenko”

She stared at the note in silence for a moment, mouth open in shock. He didn’t want her to get in trouble with her landlord, just like she hadn’t wanted him to get in trouble with his partner. He’d even arranged for the police to pay her late fee. She was absolutely floored.

“Kaidan…Thank you.” She looked up to see him shifting his weight, but smiling.

“It’s not your fault I pulled out too far.” He said.

Shepard waited, hoping he would say more. He had flirted with her earlier, hadn’t he? And now he had written a note to her landlord, so that she could stay in his good graces. Surely that meant he liked her. Right?

Kaidan didn’t say anything more, only stood there for a moment longer, as if he was waiting for her to say something. But what could she say? ‘Hey you’re cute and funny and I like you so much, I thought 'hit on you' was literal. Please go out with me?’ That would be pathetic.  
Kaidan cleared his throat, and Shepard almost leaned forward, anticipating his words. “Well, uh, Have a good evening,” He paused and smiled, "Kateryna.”  
He turned and walked away, and she was utterly confused. She waited for him to turn back, say something else, but he didn’t. He just got into the passenger side of the squad car, and Vakarian switched it into gear. Shepard almost got out of her car, but decided against it. It would look desperate. He must not have liked her after all, or he would have asked her for coffee, or her number, or something.

She was terrible at reading men she was interested in.

Shepard watched as the squad car left the lot, and sat for a moment. Her phone went off again, another text from Ash, but this one she ignored. She’d see her roommate soon enough, answer enough of her questions to sate her curiosity, and then ask her to drop the subject.

Her mind couldn’t let it go, though. She thought about him the entire drive home. In the ten minutes it took her to reach her apartment building, she analyzed every smile, every laugh, every look, and it still didn’t make sense to her. Why had he just left?

She went into Wrex’s office still plagued by Kaidan's smile.  
“About damn time.” Wrex said gruffly, putting down his phone. “I just ran your roommate out. She was trying to stall for you. What’s your excuse this time?”

Shepard, in no mood to argue with her grumpy landlord, handed him the note. The goddamned note.

He read over it, muttering to himself as he did, while Shepard stared pointedly at the bookshelf on the wall. She’d stared at it enough to know all of the books, and where they all went, stuck in this office listening to lectures about tardiness and the importance of paying on time. She noticed a new addition, a Tolstoy. She’d ask him in two weeks if it was any good. He liked to talk about his books, it was the only thing Shepard could talk to him about without getting a lecture.  
Wrex laughed, and Shepard was jolted out of her study of his bookshelf. The note didn't work. Well, at least now she could think Alenko was an asshole without feeling guilty about it. 

“Yeah, I bet you assisted the officer on the scene." Wrex chuckled, "Sure, Williams was funnier than usual today, so I’ll let your late fee slide this time, Shepard. Granted you have the payment.”

Shepard handed it over without a word, and was about to ask what Wrex meant when he set the note back down.

“You probably want that.”

Why would she want a note for him? All it said was her excuse for being late. She picked it up, about to toss it in Wrex’s wastebasket when she noticed it.

There was writing on both sides of the note.

She flipped the note over a bit too eagerly, and read the hasty scrawl on the back.

“Kateryna,  
Tell The Mako thank you for me. It is a true wingman. (Wingcar?). I don’t think I could have gotten into a car accident with a prettier or funnier girl. Sorry if this is weird, but I couldn’t let you leave without at least giving you my number. Do with it what you will.

Kaidan”

Shepard swore, Wrex laughed, and her phone went off in her pocket, an obnoxious boy band ringtone playing.

Shepared only cared about the seven digits scrawled at the bottom of a piece of ticket paper.

**Author's Note:**

> I am the Shenko AU trash queen. I love this universe, and it may be expanded at a later date. 
> 
> In my mind, Kaidan is a Computer Science major who wants to be a techie Homicide Detective or techie FBI agent. Garrus used to be a Vice detective, that's how he got his scars, and is actually not Kaidan's partner, but the one in charge of all Patrol cops. They're just buddies. Joker is Kaidan's partner. Tali is a Muslim coffeeshop owner, Wrex is a landlord with a penchant for books, Ashley is a waitress until she finishes her internship at a publishing company or until she publishes her first book, and Liara is a Grad Student at UChicago who is in Shepard's study group, despite their majors being very different. Hannah Shepard is an FBI agent who recently did broke a Chicago cage wide open, very newsworthy, explaining the small bit of Garrus/Shepard dialogue there. 
> 
> Anopisthography is the act of only writing on one side of a piece of paper. Shepard is an anopisthographist. Kaidan is not. I am amused by rare words and bad at coming up with titles.


End file.
